I’m worried that the guests will get too drunk at my wedding – is it difficult to ask them to pay for their own drink?

Nothing divides people like wedding etiquette. We know it’s a faux pas to wear white unless you’re the bride, and some frown on the idea of ​​listing bank details on invitations for money transfers instead of gifts. Yes, it’s a thing.

But what about making guests pay for their drinks at the reception? This is a hot topic that is driving a lot of people online this week.

An Aussie-based bride-to-be popped the question in a wedding thread on Reddit, where she explained the reasoning behind her cash-only bar proposal for her upcoming nuptials.

Unusual request of the bride

“Is it hard to get guests to pay for their drinks?” asked the woman on the platform

“I’m getting married in 8 1/2 months and there are some people (myself and my fiancé) who are terribly drunk. I’m a little concerned that if alcohol is paid for this, these people will take advantage and become horrible to be around.

“But I also don’t want to offend my other guests by thinking I’m weird and cheap.”

The woman added that while the idea of ​​having a cash-only bar for guests was an option, she was offering a bottle of red and white wine at each table for her loved ones to enjoy — with limits — and they would also be treated to with a glass of punch on arrival.

What should I do?

The bride went on to explain that she and her partner are from Canada and have been “common law for 7 1/2 years” so they weren’t interested in having a big wedding reception since they are already considered husband and wife. and the wife. Instead, they hoped to have a wedding to spend quality time with their nearest and dearest.

While she added that a “toonie bar” was also an option given its popularity in Canada (the trend that sees wedding guests pay as little as $2 for a drink), the bride was concerned that she would be seen as cheap and “sticky” so as not to drink the fork. outside in an open bar.

“These people who are drunk are not necessarily violent, but they can start verbal fights and shouting matches,” she explains.

“And no, not inviting is not an option as I would never live it because they are usually nice people otherwise. Also one of them is my brother… who is a bad drunk and argumentative. He was already not invited to my sister’s wedding and to this day they still hate each other,” she added.

“Unfortunately, my fiance and I are NOT made of money, so I think having a completely open bar and going over our budget for it is a crazy idea.

“We want people to have a good time, yes, but also to be responsible drinkers and we’re trying to encourage that.”

Is it difficult to ask guests to pay for their drinks?

As expected, the comments posted on the thread were divided.

Some sided with the bride and insisted that not all weddings have an open bar paid for by the couple.Â

“I don’t think serving alcohol is necessary, however I think it’s important to convey this information beforehand to set expectations,” someone commented.

Another admitted: “I’ve been to weddings with open bars and cash bars, I don’t mind either.”

Others said getting guests to pay for their own alcoholic beverages was a no-no.

“In my district, it is very difficult. I’ve never been to a wedding with a cash bar,” someone said.

And another agreed that it would not be a good look for the bride and groom.

“Don’t make your guests pay for any drinks please. So just a signature drink, beer and wine. It’s cheaper and maybe they can charge by consumption instead of open bar. Having guests pay for everything it’s kind of hard,” they added.

People will still drink

Meanwhile, others hit the comments section to point out that having to pay for their own drinks won’t stop “drunks” from being “drunk”.

“A money bar isn’t going to stop people from getting belligerent if that’s what they’re going to do,” one person noted.

“I don’t think open bar or cash bar will make a difference as I assume the drunks you’re referring to aren’t getting their supply of free drinks every time,” agreed another, before suggesting: “The place im actually asking couples to hire security for potential rowdy guests including those who can’t control their alcohol which i appreciate and don’t mind paying the extra cost maybe that’s another option that can consider it if your budget allows it.”

Another follower agreed that the above idea seemed like the best option for the bridge and the groom.

“Cash bars don’t prevent drunkenness, professional bartenders and insurance do,” they insisted.